Our
Journey to Kai and Nicholas
Our story into adoption begins in November of 2011 when the
Lord impressed upon our hearts the desire to adopt a little boy on our agency,
Holt International’s, webpage. I had
been to their site several times always looking through the many photos of these
precious children, praying for homes for them all. But, there was one little boy, Kai, who kept
drawing me in. One day I picked up the
phone and inquired to Holt about his condition – Vertical Talus of both
feet. I was informed that they could not
share any more information about him unless we applied formally back into the
program. I pretty much dismissed it at
that time as I knew we weren’t ready to make that kind of commitment yet. Well, a week and a half later, I opened up my
inbox to find his file! Holt called the
next day to see if we had received it and said that they had decided (since
they had worked with us before when we adopted Anya Mei) to let us review his
file. His file would be released back to
the shared list in the next month. We sent
his file to an international specialist to review and she called me the next
day. She said with Vertical Talus
(bottoms of feet look like little rocking chairs) there can be other conditions
associated. “It boils down to if you are
the type of family open to unknowns”, she said.
“It could be nothing more than Vertical Talus, or there could be more
involved. We continued to pray. “Lord, if this is Your will, please reveal it
clearly to us, for if it is not in Your will, we really have no business pursuing
this.” We took the steps in the next
several days to research medical specialists in our area who work with this
sort of condition – as we heard there were few who treated Vertical Talus
properly. We kept being pointed to Texas
Scottish Rite in Dallas, TX (an hour drive).
They work to treat this condition with castings over several month
period and minor corrective surgery. I
called my cousin because she and her husband had adopted a little girl a few
years ago with a similar condition of Clubbed Feet. That is how we had first heard of Vertical
Talus – because of their daughters condition and because we had added that
condition to our medical checklist when we were in process to adopt Anya Mei in
2010. We had researched it and hearing
my cousins story with their little girl, we felt pretty comfortable with that
condition. I called my cousin and not
only were we able to talk about Clubbed Feet and Vertical Talus feet, but she
informed me that she was very familiar with little Kai’s orphanage, Xuzhou,
Jiangsu, China for they had been there a few years prior! She was able to get me in touch with other
Xuzhou families, which was SO helpful! I
joined the Xuzhou yahoo group (of families who have adopted or are waiting to
adopt from the Xuzhou orphanage) and began communicating with a family who was
preparing to travel to adopt their son (who is profoundly deaf) in
December. I can remember sitting in the
rocking chair in our bedroom thinking, “Wow!
Adopting a deaf child! I cannot
imagine! That would be so much more
difficult than a child who’s feet we
will work to correct!” Little did I know
that her world and mine would soon come along side one anotherJ So, after
Holt sending us a file (that they don’t typically do), having an international specialist look at his
file and then decide not to charge us (I don’t think she ever does this – this
is her job),speaking with the family who almost adopted Kai but decided not to,
talking with my cousin who was very familiar with this orphanage (how many
orphanages are there in China?
Hundreds!), and speaking with other Xuzhou families, we felt confident
to move forward in formally applying back into Holt’s adoption process! The decision was made on Thanksgiving and
when we shared it with our families, we had 100% backing! So exciting!
So, we began the process to adopt Shen Kai Fu as our son! His file stated that he was brought to the
Xuzhou orphanage in Jiangsu Province on October 2 (the day we arrived home with
Anya Mei from China!) at 8 months of age!
His date of birth is Feb.2, 2010.
Everything with
this adoption was very different than that of Anya Mei. With Anya Mei, we went through all of the
steps to be matched with a child and then were matched three months before we
traveled to get her. With Kai, we began
backwards. We were matched with a child
and then began all of the paperwork. And
boy, was there paperwork! I think the
most frustrating this for me was that things did not go on “MY “time table at
all. I am not a procrastinator and
worked so hard to get everything off of our table and into the hands it needed
to be. We ran into all sorts of little
glitches (that just added more time till we could bring our boy home). From the notary messing up some of our paperwork
to Nate’s doctor messing up his paperwork three times and then leaving the
country for a deployment (had to find a new doctor who was confused by it all
and had to re-do some things) to Nate cutting his finger the night before going
in for fingerprinting (they told us we would have to wait for his finger to
completely heal before they could scan his fingerprint – we were able to get it
done a little sooner though), etc. I was
becoming frustrated. Nate and I both
said that if it weren’t for the confirmation in knowing this is where the Lord
was leading, we would question whether this was really what we were supposed to
be doingJ Well, months later (late March) it all made
sense.
Nate was away on a
work trip when a friend I had made through the Xuzhou adoption yahoo group
(also in Texas) contacted me and said that someone had sent her some photos of
her little boy. I was so excited for
her! I contacted this gal to see if she
might have some photos of our little Kai!
She sent me a little video and said she thought little Kai might be in
the background. I watched the video on
my computer screen and was smitten by the little boy handing out Twinkies to
all of the other little boys. I had seen
him with our Kai in many of the photos we had received. Nate had commented early on what an adorable
boy this other little guy was! And yes,
our sweet, little Kai was in the video too – SO cute! I e-mailed this woman and asked her who this
other little boy was and was surprised when she e-mailed back and said that he
was a little boy, named Shen Kai Le, who is profoundly deaf who she is
advocating for. He was three years old
and brought to the orphanage when he was over a year old – how very sadL Over the
next couple of days I found myself thinking about little Shen Kai Le a
lot. I thought it was probably just my
“mama heart” (“I mean, who wouldn’t be smitten by this precious little face,
right?”). I sent the video to Nate (who
was away) and to parents. My mom called
the next day and asked about the little boy handing out Twinkies – she thought
he was just precious! I began to pray
about whether I should talk with Nate about him or not. I knew he would think this was absolutely
crazy and would not be excited about it.
When he and I spoke on the phone, I mentioned this little boy (having
seen him in photos of our Kai) and after a few days, I felt I would talk with
him about all of what I was feeling. And
yes, he did think I was crazyJ That was o.k. though because I knew that I
was tooJ I just asked him if he would consider praying
with me about this little boy and if the Lord would maybe be leading him into
our lives. I told Nate that I knew this
was crazy and was not necessarily even feeling that this is where God was
leading. I told him that I thought this
may all be my “mommy heart” and nothing more, but that I just couldn’t stop
thinking about him. Nate said that
“Yeah, I don’t really think this is where the Lord is leading. We have just enough room for one more child
without changing things: one more open bed in the house, one more spot in the
Honda Odyssey (which we absolutely LOVE), etc., etc. Everything says that this would not be a good
idea, but yes, I will agree to pray with you about it.” Well, on Nate’s drive back home from his
trip, he randomly turned his radio to a station he never listens to. A program was just beginning and it featured
a deaf family! The next weekend, Nate
left on another work trip and while there at the Best Western (where the Air
Force put them up for their conference) there was one other conference going on
there and it was Hands and Voices (a conference for families of deaf
children). Nate attended one of their
meetings and gathered some resources to bring home. We contacted doctors in our area and found
that Ft. Worth is one of the best places in working with deaf children! The next day I was looking online for deaf
schools and services when I came across one that looked prenominal! I called the number only to get an answering
machine. As I began scrolling down my
screen and looking more into this program, I found that they were in a
different state (Virginia)L I was bummed!
Well, a few minutes later, the phone rang and it was the center I had
just called. The woman was the head of
the center and she informed me that she was FROM Ft. Worth – did all of her
schooling/training here – and that if we did decide to proceed with this
adoption, she could help us find the best services available here! She said that normally I would have never
reached her, because her clinic would have been full of children, but that it
was a snow day so she was free to chat with me all dayJ She and I
continued to keep in touch and in May she e-mailed me to say that the day we
talked, she began thinking about home, got online and saw that there was a job
opening here in Ft. Worth with all of her qualifications. She has missed home so applied and was coming
to town to apply! We met at Chic-fil-A
and were able to talk about all sorts of things! It was wonderful! She did get the job and will be here in Ft.
Worth in the upcoming months!!!!! She
and her husband have been very interested in adoption too and had already
applied to our agency (Holt International) to receive adoption information, so
I was able to share with her more about our experience with Holt (which has
been nothing but amazing!). So, as you
can imagine, we had much to talk about! I
began posting to our Xuzhou adoption Yahoo group about the possibility and
immediately was drawn once again to the gal I had spoken with in December who
was preparing to travel to adopt their deaf son (who come to find is this
little boys dear friend and lives not too far away from us!). She gave me all sorts of resources and shared
with me what life is like with a deaf child.
I was excited and terrified all at the same time!
After receiving
more information on this child, who we learned was named Shen Kai Le, we saw
that he had an abnormal CT scan along with his being profoundly deaf. Nate came home one day and announced that he
felt that there were so many doors opening and that we needed to take the next
step to see if this would even be a possibility. I contacted our agency, Holt, and asked if
they ever allowed families to adopt two at once if these two boys were together
in the same orphanage and friends. They
said it would be very unlikely, but they would consider it. Given the circumstances that we already had
five young children (ages 2-9) and were adopting a special needs child (age 2)
it was very unlikely, but they said they would have a meeting and discuss if
they felt this would be right. Another
“piece” presented itself too in that Shen Kai Le’s file was being held by a
different agency. Agencies rarely will
release their children to another agency, but this agency said they would
release this little boys file to our agency if we decided to move forward). So, this agency would have to release this
little boys file back to CCCWA to issue to Holt (if it all worked out
right). Holt had a social worker call us
and talk about all of it. We were AMAZED
(truly) when our conversation was close to an end and the social worker said,
“We do not normally do things like this, but under these circumstances, we feel
you would be the perfect family for this child!
I will be contacting Holt tomorrow to let them know that you have my
full support in moving forward with this second adoption!” We cried!
How did SO many pieces work together to make this thing possible! Even where we were at in the adoption process
with Shen Kai Fu was perfect to add the second adoption at little extra
paperwork and expense. We were at the
place that submitting our dossier was next, so to add a second child flowed
perfectly in the process of adding another!
Had things been in “MY” time table earlier when I was pushing so hard to
get everything rolling, it would have been too late to add this second little
boy or it would have disrupted the adoption of the first! SO many pieces came together in all of this
that we sat back and just laughed! This
little boy was ours! He was meant to be
ours! And though there were some
“unknowns” in his medical file, it didn’t matter. He was ours and we were his! We did proceed from there to have his CT scan
looked at, by my cousin’s husband, and we “think” it will be o.k., but we will
not fully know until he is home and further testing is administered.
So, we have had a
very full and exciting several months!
We don’t know where all of this will lead and are fully expecting that
there will be trails and challenges, but we have no doubt that this is where
God is leading and that is what we place our trust in (not in an “ease” of life
or even a “Happily Ever After”). These
are our sons – Kai #1 (Kai John Healy) and Kai #2 (Nicholas Kai Healy), and we
wholeheartedly open our home and hearts to these two little boys. Please keep our family in your prayers as we
prepare to embark on what may be the biggest adventure of our lives! And this is only the beginning……. J ~Karyn & Nate
